he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
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she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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