well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
