mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
