i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
