Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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