dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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