is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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