I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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