I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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