I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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