It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Boobs speak an international language.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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