MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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