idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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