i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
