i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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