Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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