Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
