Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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