how can u be prego again
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
