the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize