you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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