But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
