When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
