So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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