it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
