i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just tell him i said nine months
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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