I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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