Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
They have beer where we have blood.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
