just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
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Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
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Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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