He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
