Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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