You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize