I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
What drink are we having for lunch?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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