i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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