Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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