all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
