Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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