Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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