I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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