butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
