Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
