you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Holy sore nipples Batman
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
