Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He better not be in your backpack
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
