we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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