please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
