So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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