marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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