We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
