Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
