How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
false alarm. still invincible.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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