I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Panties = found
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
