I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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