Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
