It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
