dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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