Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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