haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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