good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
